RED AND YELLOW AND PINK AND GREEN ;
PURPLE AND ORANGE AND BLUEEEEE
be my rainbow gummy! :)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
*ying*
guys, all ur posts make me want to tell you all wat i realli feel.
im realli sorry that i remained the only one who didnt open up yesterday. for so long, i've been hoping this day will come, where we'll realli sit down and try to come up with an absolute answer. but i juz didnt want to talk when it finally came.
i wasnt happy when geline said its marcus that made her want to reconsider our dream. it made me so very sad. so disappointed. for one thing, he shldnt b involved in this in any way. for another, to me, he is... a rep from 4E1. yes it sounds so stupid. but to me, part of the reason y im no longer so sure we'd stick together anymore is 4E1. its also janice and all those friends that ting get to noe in pubs. even slk. my own frens. geline used to say she dislikes janice v much becos she caused the barrier btwn us and ting. i feel the exact same way abt 4E1. its not hate, not dislike. i dun hate any of ur frens pemers. its a right to have frens other than pem. its realli a kind of helplessness. becos circumstances like all our other frens are becoming factors that pull us further away. and i cant do a thing to stop it.
i noe i realli shld have faith in this frenship. i noe we've been thru so much and still stuck together. things will change. i always believed we can still stay strong but now... many little things crop up and they're killing my faith. the discussion yesterday left me even more discouraged. the only absolute answer can only b to give up isnt it? either that or we continue remain confused and uncertain. it seemed that way to me, thats y i chose not to involve myself in that... argument. i simply dont have the energy and the faith to stand by this dream or this frenship.
im glad that we had the discussion tho. it told me that im realli the only one who didnt believe we can still remain realli tight years later. im realli happy you all still has the faith. cos i noe its painful not to have it. i believe we can still stay frens. but i can no longer imagine that ten years later, we can still tell each other stuff that realli matters, and share and joke and get high together. i wish to b proven wrong, i realli do. please dun b mistaken and think that i dun want us to b frens anymore. i treasure this frenship as much as any of u. thats y the lacking of faith in us is killing me.
truthfully pemers, singing is realli the only thing that i want and can do to earn money. unless i want to remain as a retail person or waitress for my entire life. i know the rest of u have other ways out. and i cannot stop you all from moving on. so altho i realli do hope we can still try to make singing our career, i'll understand if you want this to end. knowing God makes me understand that no matter where i'll b, He'll b with me and thats all i need. so, giving this up will not b the end of the world for me :) and so, watever you guys decide to do with this dream, i'll go with it :D
just stop saying if we give up this dream, we may not remain frens. wat i need is encouragement right now, not more stuff to destroy that little faith i have in the continuation of this frenship :)
i realli do love you guys you noe. take care till the next time we meet :)
cute squishie -x
* geline *
Hi.... Guess where am i now????? guess???? i think ur wun noe..... im at one of my factory's friend house..... his mum is ver fierce..... but i shall not say anything bad.... hehe....
abt yesterday.... although i din haf a conclusion...... or maybe i dunno wat kind of conclusion i wan..... im really glad tt we at least let it all out.... i will use my own way to "counteract"marcus next time..... i wun let him say bullshitagain.... i realized tt he really dun understand the bond between us.... and the major difference between him and us is..... he is a guy.... guys are not as emotional as girls..... furthermore.... we belong to those type of girls whereby we are very sensitive..... however.... i do agree to some of the things he said.... so he is not that wrong anyway.... actually.... i really dunno wat kind of conclusion i wan.... to sing or not???? to stay as five or not??? to understand my viewpoint??? or..... other things???? the dream..... does it really belong to me???? am i really suitable to be the one to realize the dream???? haiz.... i really dunno wat i wan.... maybe jus some encouragement from ur.....
yesterday is really the only time whereby we tok.... i feel tt im not the onli one facing dilemma.... i really hope tt the five of us can stand on the same line to look at all the problems we faced or might be facing in the future..... i really wish tt we can haf those kind of 100% faith in each and every one of us..... but..... i noe tt is quite hard.... i believe it is not impossible..... i hope we will all try our best to build up the faith in us..... hehe.... okay.... let's not tok abt these sad things so frequently......
i'm planning to go on cruise next week...... any takers???? i try to ask my mum how much does it cost.... den i get back to ur..... hehe.... k.... tt's all..... byez.... byez..... :)
cute squishie -x
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
*ying* glad to see geline's loooooong looooong post. am sad to hear that her parents think she's being irresponsible and impulsive for quiting. hey girl, you noe deep down that they do care for you eh? perhaps if you realli try explaining y you quit, they'll understand. communication is the root of any r/s. im sure they realli love to noe their daughter better and get closer to her :)
sammie dear, realli hope ur grandad will b alright. and i realli have to say that you mom've got great taste. i've always knew im as pretty as ABC! wahahaha... since i look good in that neoprint, i shall put it up on this blog and it shall remain here till the end of time. BAHAHAHA. and its hard to b cool abt having ur bf spending time alone with another girl who's interested in him eh. good that you have so much trust in him :) hope to c you 2 together years from now with kids and a home of ur own. the prospects of that happening seems way high. jia you! :D
pemers, i realli had fun with you guys on 1st of may even tho its juz a few hours time. was reali disappointed to noe that we might not b able to gather as five even on such an impt day. seemed almost to me that we've all got other frens to spend time with and pem's not impt animore. but things always work out in the end dun they? we still got together for lunch and photos. love you guys for being able to make it. thank God for that wonderful time :)
cute squishie -x
Monday, May 02, 2005
* gEliNe *
I feel so lost now..... I realli missed my colleagues in the factory..... Deng Yuan..... Wei Sheng..... Zhong Qing.... Andrew.... Ackley.... Wei Wen..... Hui Min.... Meiluan..... Sara.... Peiyu..... Haiz.... I wun haf the chance to work wif them again.... Although this day will come sooner or later.... but i still feel upset and she bu de....
Realli.... We did haf a lot of fun during this short period of time.... i din haf a gd impression of them initially.... deng yuan and wei sheng look very "beng"..... andrew and meiluan look quite cocky and rude..... zhongqing seems a bit "xtra" cos he joined us halfway.... but.... after all those jokes and laughter.... dinners after work..... long break time together..... sharing of locker..... waiting for each other for breaks..... arcade time.... one hour of shopping..... sharing of food..... suaning each other..... assemble handphones together..... rescreen together..... all these haf become part and parcel of my life orredy.... unfortunately.... due to my stubborn character.... i haf made all these my memories onli....
it is so unbelievable.... i haf onli got ot noe them for 40 days.... and yet i feel so attached to them.... maybe.... tis kind of feeling will fade away wif time.... i dunno wat will happen in the future.... we will continue to meet up or not.... but there is one thing i noe.... everyone of them.... everything we haf done.... every moment we spent together.... they haf leave a deep mark in my memory.... i wun 4get them.... forever and ever.... they are not onli people tt jus passed by my life.... they are ppl who passed by.... and bother to stop to paint some beautiful colours to my life.... they made my life more colourful... they open up another world for me to c.... i may not understand wat they r thinking.... i may not agree to wat they r doing.... but they will always be my friends....
i admit.... i may not noe everyone of them.... they may haf some negative influence on me.... but at least.... they make me happy for the past 40 days....
now... my impulsiveness might leave a bad impression in them.... im realli sorry abt that..... i noe my decision has made ppl upset.... but i realli hope tt they will forgive me.... tis is jus me.... tt is definitely not an excuse.... i haf this character in me whereby i jus cant stand ppl scolding me.... if im at wrong.... den tt's fine..... but when im right..... i dun think i deservet his kind of scolding.... i noe im not supposed to be lidat if i step into the workforce next time.... but cant they let me be ren xing for this time.... since i can make such decision now.... y cant my parents understand me.... they dun understand their daughter at all.... all my frineds understand y i can quit jus lidat... they noe tt is my character.... but my parents jus dun understand.... i realli dun wan to tok to them anymore.... they will never ever noe.... or even try to understand wat kind of person is their daughter.... giving money is not a way of showering love to their children..... simple encouragement is enough.... i dun ask for much.... i jus need them to understand me.... that is all i wan.....
haiz.... okiez.... i haf complained quite a fair bit orredy..... and i get a bit off tangent too.... hehe.... but i noe u all wun mind one.... cos u all luv me so much.... hehe.....
btw.... i dunno wat to do now.... i plan to wait for peiyu to quit.... den we find another job together... but tt will be 2 weeks later..... wat shall i do.... im thinking of finding tuition.... but my friends say tt now is not the appropiate time cos students are haviong exams now.... den... wat shall i do.... i realli dun wish to stay at home all day.... and i dun wish to go out and spent money..... can ur gif me some suggestions????
okiez.... i haf typed a long post today... hope it has made the blog more interesting.... hehe.... byez.... byez.... take carez..... :)
cute squishie -x
GIVEitTOme !
wishes anyone?
lifetime supply of indian rojak maybe.
WAHAHAHA.
:)
