Monday, February 19, 2007
************samsamsamsamsam************
before we talk about anything upsetting, let me share with you the happier note first.
cny was great. so was post vday, even though vday itself was a mess.
post vday was simple. but one surprise made it memorable. flowers. i know the stupid boy dont like to carry flowers but he did and the tulips came all the way from holland. they took the same aeroplane he took and it felt really really sweet.
cny was at ah ma's house. so nice and im glad to be around this year. so many loud voices, loud laughters, all the "purposely" dressing up for the occasion, the bitching and eating. ah ma cooked my favourite soup. pig intestine soup. shiok. love it! not easy to cook ok? especially for an old folk to wash the intestines and to cook it for hours. everything was just so so so nice. until....
at night while on the phone with the boy and surfing the net, i saw something i dont like online. something that made me disappointed, hurt and angry. something that didnt happen for the first and definitely not the second time. something that happened during the past one year and still repeating. something he promised but still do. shocked to see it again, hurt to know it, disappointed to remember your promises and angry because of it. i may be nonsensical but at this point of time, i dont really give a shit about how you see me. im like that and so be it.
cute squishie -x
Sunday, February 04, 2007
im home and it's 12.56am now. i miss my boyfriend alot, will see him in 3 days time, and to think that we aint spending vday together saddens me. i know everyone would say "aiya, as long as you're in love, everyday is vday what" but the fact that the whole world is celebrating with hugs and kisses, im in a very cold country called frankfurt with television programmes mostly in german except CNN or BBC. and also, the fact that the boy's in town on the 14th but not me so he hasnt got someone to celebrate with (unless if he chooses to, which he wouldnt because....erm...i just know he wont). but it's also me that didnt wanna change my flight because i wanna be ard for CNY badly too. so....the company took my vday but returned me with CNY. like they always say, you cant have best of both worlds could you?
so we decided to celebrate a belated vday, on the 16th instead (i know i'll be hiding in my hotel room wailing like mad again). the only console we have, that i thought was that, dining wouldnt be that expensive now. oh well oh well oh well~ the boy says no complaining so, i shall keep this short.
ive been racking brains for vday present and gab always see through my plans and when he tells me he knows whats on my mind, i couldnt hide it away from him because i end up smiling sheepishly then the "buey song-ness" appears on my face again. ha!
im heading to bed now. tired, i havent even bathe or packed and i've got another flight tml. luckily it's only 5hrs flight or if not, i would have spit big time on my roster.
cute squishie -x
